Being broke ain't a joke...

Bankroll..Nada.
401K... Nada.
Bank accounts... Change.
Wallet... Plastic I don't dare touch.

Jobless and broke. No unemployment. It is amazing that I finally went back to school and graduated and have absolutely nothing to show for it. What was the point of taknig time off from jobs to study, cram, read, presentations, and a little boozing on the side?

The job market officially sucks for full time hunters. I am too smart for manual labor but I may end up pressure washing driveways or cleaning pools. Yardwork in the winter is even slow. McDonalds won't pay me more that $6.85. And considering I could be a manager, I don't speak Spanish or Ebonics so that position is unavailable.

I took all my funds off the poker sites after a nice $700 run. I need to pay for car insurance, home insurance, gas for a car to go nowhere and food.

Thank god my home bar is stocked with my favorite libations!



*Not shown but available for later consumption are 2 cases of beer in the fridge and 19 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of Dom.

Unemployment will leave me plenty of time for my palate.

$100 million to Haiti?

Sorry Obama... But my tax dollars are NOT at work. Why are we sending funds to a country that can never pay us back with help, commerce or military efforts?

Yeah... keep that change up buddy. Update the resume.

False Advertising

Taco Bell does it... Subway and Burger King do it...McDonalds not so much.

Good looking fast food? Of course.. it at least tastes good. Value meals? 99 cents is a kick ass price. Hiphop and jazz music... we know it's racially profiling.

What I am talking about is good looking employees!!! Seriously... who is going to put that cutie in the back wrapping upa cheesey beef Mexi-Melt when she could be hooking me up deals on 99 cent burritos at the register?? I mean.. hello? Managers are you listening? Give the customers what they want!

Now if I can find a hottie to hook me up with with a Chili and Spicy Crispy Chicken Nuggets for 99 cents each, I'll spend every lunch for the year at Wendys until I get slapped with a restraining order. Wait..What's that? Oh.. already 99 cents each.

But where are the hotties? Where are the babes? In the back working their way up the corporate ladder with the normal repugnant staff I see at every fastfood joint?

You'd think Subway might have a babe baking bread and cookies for the lunch crowd. Or did Jared eat her? Did they lose a hottie at Burger King and decide it was cheaper to hire a brown bagger and just put a King mask on her for commercials?

I don't expect hot girls when I go to fill my belly with fast food. Mostly why they put in drive thrus... so you can see them from the waste up and pray you don't catch the wedgie in the stretch pants that are becoming common for fast food uniforms.

If the food was healthy, I'd expect people that like to eat it to look good selling it. I go to Smoothie King or Jamba Juice to get college girls that use the job to get a discount on Xenadrine and Hydroxy-cut.

So listen up execs. Before you really think the hot girls in your commercials are doing the selling for the fourth rate beef and shit you call sour cream stuffed in a paper-like tortilla, get real. I go for the crap food. To satify my belly, not my eyes.

PS Execs,
Seriously.... you are advertising a Taco Bell diet when the girl goes through a DRIVE-THRU... She'd have lost a lot more weight and probably for less if she'd gotten her fat ass outta the car and walked in! God forbid you promote people walking into those Roach Motels you call restaurants!