Krazy doesn't describe it...

On Halloween...

2010-10-14T10:16:00.002-04:00

Come On Man!! Not Halloween

2010-10-14T10:12:00.003-04:00

Well I will be home anyway scaring the crap outta kids.. imagine my bad-beat face will make them shit their pants!

PLO freeroll...

2010-01-26T17:02:00.004-05:00

Day 2 of the massive blogger freeroll on PokerStars and already the field is thinning in the first 9 minutes. PLO is a sadistic game...see how evil it is.

Update: Horrendous play so far. Doubled up and then gave half back on an open ended 12 outter. Play is horrendous. I think all the hold'em people have no clue about connecting cards and additional outs after the flop.

Hanging tough at T3030 .. about the average stack. Next update at the break.

Update (before the break I know). I am out. I made a bad bluff and got called down with bottom pair on a board with straight and flush possibilities. Oh wells.

Tomorrow might be a miss being more NL. I really just don't enjoy it. We shall see how I feel.

Freeeeeeroll...(great when you are unemployeed)

2010-01-25T16:56:00.010-05:00

WBCOOP starts in a few. Other than a disappointing line up froma lack of limit and O8 games it looks to be a stellar field with some great prizes... I may actually have to update if I can pull anything off.

I had 7 hours of live poker yesterday and this series might be a challenge if I get an actual date this week. No offense PokerStars, but live women > live poker > online Poker. Freeroll begins.

Good luck Blogger Brethren!

Update 1: After a 6 minute first hand we got underway. Too many people forgetting or not realizing it is an early start.

Got my first double up with KQ v QJ on a Q69 rainbow flop. 300 players gone in 31 minutes.

Update 2: Either I am card dead or just too tight. Not much hitting and players are starting the immature trash and bash chatting. Really want to turn off the chat... but a possibility to get someone to tilt some chips off may arise.

The knockouts have slowed chip leader has 13610.

Update: New leader, antes kicked in at 30/60... not even at the BREAK! wow. I am barely above the average... why read one version? Go over to PokerStars.com download and watch a few tables since the table screens are adjustable!

Update 4: At the first break the top-20 are all above 11K.. and WesRoks is in the top stack position with 22k. I don't recognize any names in the field so I am wondering if it started too early for most people.
Not alot of post flop play. Pretty much just stealing blinds or facing raise and re-raise decisions. Still card dead. Think A2 was my prettiest hand in the last 20 minutes. Blah.

A few hands after the break I made a stellar river call with A7 on a J672J board. I was in EP and led out on each street. Button pushed on the river with KQ and I thought for good minute and called and took him out. 2 knockouts... feeling good.

Update too many to count: Made a stupid call on an all-in player pre-flop. Forget 3 others stil lhad to act and the SB had KK. Allin player had AJ and needless to say.. KK got sucked out on. My hand? Q 10 sooted. Lost half my stack. Dumb dumb.

578 players to go and 425 til prize bubble. See what happens!

Last update: Busto. UTG raised 3x and I had AQ in the BB. Instead of just re-raising since he had been playing solid I pushed...stupidly. I had no fold equity KNOWING he had been playing well. I let my emotions get to me since the small blind had been raising me too much.

Live and learn. Tomorrow nights donkfest gamboooool at PLO will be interesting.

2010-01-22T11:12:00.001-05:00

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! This PokerStars tournament is a No Limit Texas Hold’em event exclusive to Bloggers, you too can take part by registering on WBCOOP

Registration code: 588526

Downward Spiral, Desperation or New Leaf?

2010-01-22T11:01:00.002-05:00

It a moment of self despair, I attempted to join eHarmony.com. Notice I say attempted. Which is all it was. A futile attempt. All that wasted time doing the assessment of who I am, what I want, where do I see myself in 5 years, and what I want out of a match. Sadly Captain Morgan Girl nor Hayden Panettiere were listed.

While I am not one to not want to socialize, even when I go out I am still shy. This makes meeting people hard. Not only does my history seem shady and I feel everyone is judging me, but I am just not that interesting.

So getting rejected by a dating site really was a low blow to the esteem.

Match.com doesn't care. They just want my money. And once I was a subscriber, they STILL wanted money. They try to get me to continue to join or upgrade my features.

Every. Single. Day.

But so far it hasn't been bad. A few winks and emails and I have found a few interesting prospects that I'd like to have drinks with and see if they match what they say. And that they match their pictures. It is called Match.com, right?

But if that's a highlight, then the rest of the week has sucked. Stock Market: sucks. Job search: sucks. Roommate hunt: sucks.

One out of four ain't bad.

Let's see if I can win a few SNG's on Stars or FTP this weekend and maybe I can buy a lady a drink!

Being broke ain't a joke...

2010-01-15T13:40:00.003-05:00

Bankroll..Nada.
401K... Nada.
Bank accounts... Change.
Wallet... Plastic I don't dare touch.

Jobless and broke. No unemployment. It is amazing that I finally went back to school and graduated and have absolutely nothing to show for it. What was the point of taknig time off from jobs to study, cram, read, presentations, and a little boozing on the side?

The job market officially sucks for full time hunters. I am too smart for manual labor but I may end up pressure washing driveways or cleaning pools. Yardwork in the winter is even slow. McDonalds won't pay me more that $6.85. And considering I could be a manager, I don't speak Spanish or Ebonics so that position is unavailable.

I took all my funds off the poker sites after a nice $700 run. I need to pay for car insurance, home insurance, gas for a car to go nowhere and food.

Thank god my home bar is stocked with my favorite libations!

*Not shown but available for later consumption are 2 cases of beer in the fridge and 19 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of Dom.

Unemployment will leave me plenty of time for my palate.

$100 million to Haiti?

2010-01-14T10:14:00.003-05:00

Sorry Obama... But my tax dollars are NOT at work. Why are we sending funds to a country that can never pay us back with help, commerce or military efforts?

Yeah... keep that change up buddy. Update the resume.

False Advertising

2010-01-11T10:47:00.002-05:00

Taco Bell does it... Subway and Burger King do it...McDonalds not so much.

Good looking fast food? Of course.. it at least tastes good. Value meals? 99 cents is a kick ass price. Hiphop and jazz music... we know it's racially profiling.

What I am talking about is good looking employees!!! Seriously... who is going to put that cutie in the back wrapping upa cheesey beef Mexi-Melt when she could be hooking me up deals on 99 cent burritos at the register?? I mean.. hello? Managers are you listening? Give the customers what they want!

Now if I can find a hottie to hook me up with with a Chili and Spicy Crispy Chicken Nuggets for 99 cents each, I'll spend every lunch for the year at Wendys until I get slapped with a restraining order. Wait..What's that? Oh.. already 99 cents each.

But where are the hotties? Where are the babes? In the back working their way up the corporate ladder with the normal repugnant staff I see at every fastfood joint?

You'd think Subway might have a babe baking bread and cookies for the lunch crowd. Or did Jared eat her? Did they lose a hottie at Burger King and decide it was cheaper to hire a brown bagger and just put a King mask on her for commercials?

I don't expect hot girls when I go to fill my belly with fast food. Mostly why they put in drive thrus... so you can see them from the waste up and pray you don't catch the wedgie in the stretch pants that are becoming common for fast food uniforms.

If the food was healthy, I'd expect people that like to eat it to look good selling it. I go to Smoothie King or Jamba Juice to get college girls that use the job to get a discount on Xenadrine and Hydroxy-cut.

So listen up execs. Before you really think the hot girls in your commercials are doing the selling for the fourth rate beef and shit you call sour cream stuffed in a paper-like tortilla, get real. I go for the crap food. To satify my belly, not my eyes.

PS Execs,
Seriously.... you are advertising a Taco Bell diet when the girl goes through a DRIVE-THRU... She'd have lost a lot more weight and probably for less if she'd gotten her fat ass outta the car and walked in! God forbid you promote people walking into those Roach Motels you call restaurants!

Unemployment

2010-01-08T17:30:00.002-05:00

Sadly today's unemployment numbers did not include me.

Yet. I am unemployed. I need a job. In an industry not hiring.

Financial markets are not being nice to those that have just gotten out of school. At least a school as crappy as mine. I can't compete. I have revamped my resume 13 times. I have management experience... albeit in health food stores. But I ran 3 and we had revenues over $2 million a year. Not bad. But it is in the past.

So after a stint in a warehouse job and FedEx loading trucks, 2 years of school should have gotten me bigger and better options. Nope. Not really.

Since I am basically sitting around the house all day like a sloth, I started working out as a whole New Year's Resolution thingie. Bascially I can't fit into any of my shorts/jeans and the look of myself disgusts me!

Six days in a row and 9000 calories less a week, I am sore but feeling better. Let's see what the weekend brings.

It's been a while....

2010-01-07T20:44:00.002-05:00

Wow... Time has flown since the days of adult films and package handling..

I graduated. Finally...after a 8 year hiatus from school I got my degree in Finance. Um.. yeah. An industry severely lacking jobs. So what have I done since December when I graduated?

Poker!

Basically I am just picking up games here and there. I haven't found a game I want to stick with. Full Tilt's starting satellites to FTOPS XXVVXXIIIMMCM or whatever... maybe a few of those.
I'd like to avoid the MTT's. I prefer heads-up action and either for a cash or SNG.

Been running ok. We shall see how long til I tilt it off... hey look! I found leftover Adderall. Yay.
I think I might move this blog to a new idea. Soo many douche bags.. and while I might be crazy... they are still douche bags. I should get a camera.

Ok.. enough for an weak post to return. But since I have time on my hands... I can catch up posts from Pauly, Grubby, Al, Kid Dynamite, and any other writers/degenerates that interest me. Good to be back!

Rock On!

2008-03-22T15:02:00.001-04:00

src="http://www.fulltiltpoker.com/images/com/en/content/news-promos/blogger/bbt_150.jpg"/>

Brought to you by the
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Great promotion... just Tournament times SUCK for us East Coasters with early jobs.

Finally... 2 years plus in the making

2008-02-15T17:31:00.002-05:00

300....

2007-03-22T16:23:00.000-04:00

Yeah I wanna see 300 but I like the looks of this one too...

Can FTP be any worse?

2007-03-16T03:40:00.000-04:00

I know it is a freeroll. I know they are assclowns. But... come on FTP... I am here to punish them and you do this:

WSOP Giveaway Rd 1 (14972885), Table 34 - 50/100 - No Limit Hold'em - 3:33:40 ET - 2007/03/16
Seat 1: VLdiamond (4,375)
Seat 2: kauaikine (20,483)
Seat 4: 2B no 1 (28,470)
Seat 5: KrazyBangs (13,580)
Seat 6: avalanche19c (390), is sitting out
Seat 7: cindy8484 (5,737)
Seat 8: BJW26974 (9,533)
Seat 9: hunterpantar (10,800)
hunterpantar posts the small blind of 50
VLdiamond posts the big blind of 100
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KrazyBangs [Kh Ks]
cindy8484: PURE LUCK
kauaikine raises to 800
2B no 1 folds
KrazyBangs raises to 1,600
avalanche19c folds
cindy8484 raises to 5,737, and is all in
hunterpantar folds
VLdiamond folds
kauaikine calls 4,937
KrazyBangs raises to 13,580, and is all in
kauaikine calls 7,843
KrazyBangs shows [Kh Ks]
cindy8484 shows [Js 6c]
kauaikine shows [9c Ah]
*** FLOP *** [7h Th Kc]
*** TURN *** [7h Th Kc] [Jd]

and the river...

Freerolls even love the the hammer

2007-03-13T04:48:00.000-04:00

Every donk in the world wants to go all in on the first few hands, but even they can't luckbox out against the hammer!

Blogger Pods...2 down...

2007-03-11T07:53:00.000-04:00

I’m registered in the free BloggerPods poker tournament Mac poker

Always a good crew and I need a new one after destroying mine working out... Let hope FTP doesn't crash 3 weeks in a row.

Beginner's Luck?

2007-03-07T16:59:00.000-05:00

Had yesterday off. Found the ripoff casino was holding a daily $45+5 MTT with rebuys. While I am not rolled for a rebuy let alone a $50 entry, I wanted to go and use the time to invest in my reads and tells, and basically get a live tournament under my belt.

Hardcore on the online felt, live play really doesn't do much for me, but I figured the hopeful hours of NL action would give me a feel for where I stand.

I got to the desk about 20 minutes before start time and before anything, wanted to see a structure sheet. I was not impressed.

Either I have been spoiled by the online structures or the casino really has no intention of providing a solid tournament with solid play they offered 1000 starting stacks with 12 minute levels. Opening blinds 25/50.

I assume being a rebuy for the first hour they wanted to basically milk all the juice they could, but I for one saw that 20BB starting stacks is a poor investment.

So I registered.

I found out they allowed an immediate add-on 500 chips for $25 and then $75 for 1500 any time you bust in the first hour. I took the add on for some cushioning. Marketing genius, bait and switch.

I got the draw for the 1s and had 7 other players with me. Two seats were left open and they blinded off those stacks to help alleviate the quick blinds. Not sure if this is normal procedure but, eh, what do I know? I am the noob.

I played pretty night and didn't get many anything thing worth taking to the flop for 2 orbits. The 3s was extremely loose and even showed the Hammer when he raised in MP and it folded around. He called a couple all-ins and seemed to try and slow play every hand and raise with junk. I was looking to get it good with him.

After about 4 orbits I got JJ and took down a pot when pocket tens pushed on a 8 high flop. I raised the next hand with AQ in LP and the 3s called his limp. Flop was Q 9 5. He checked. I bet, he called. Turn was a 4. He pushed all in. I thought for about 2 minutes and when he said "I got you" I folded. He showed a set of 4's and I made a decent laydown. I want to get my money in good not wanting to rebuy. I knew I could pick my spots.

QQ was I got it in against 10 10 again preflop from a short stack and when 3s called with AJ I sweated it a bit, but I hit the case Q on the flop for good measure.

There was no tournament board or clock system so I just used the blinds to find a comfort zone for my stacks. After the first break we played another 30 minutes and the table broke after I took out 10 10 and AJ with flopped set of 6's. When we shipped over two the next table we found out it was already down to the last 23. Five minutes later we were down to 18.

I had a decent 24BB and just kept waiting for premium cards. My tight image helped me steal some flops after preflop raises. Everyone was extremely loose but with enough chips to re-raise they wanted the money enough to fold to a bigger stack.

Eventually I hit the FT and all 10 of us were in the money. 112 players started and short stack from my first table blinded out and 9 remained. He walked off not even realizing he made the money until the table screamed at him to collect.

I never had more than 12BB the entire time at the FT and had to use my stack at times to push and hope to get folds from limpers. I was card dead and managed to squeak into 7th when the chip leader took out KJ with his AQ.

I was 5th in chips, in the 5 seat and had the BB with 25s. Button raised the minimum, SB called for all his chips and I foolishly called. I knew it was a mistake, but 5-1 on my money for the call and to check down the SB was almost worth it. Needless to say he tripled up. I folded my SB to his all in, and on the button with 10 J I raised 3x and the BB debated and called. When the flop came 10 Q K he pushed all in and tried to commit me. I folded and he showed Q9. FUCK.

The chop was announced by the TD, all six could get $00 each. 4 of us where in favor. The two middle stacks wanted to keep playing. Fuck again.

Then I woke up with two red Kings and pushed the very next hand. SB called again and showed Ad9h. Flop Ah8h7d. Turn Jh. Miracle 2h on the river. I only had 8 BB and the next stack had 12BB.

I limped in UTG with A2s a few hands later. Button minimum raised. I pushed, he calledwith A9. Flop A29. Turn J River 9. IGHN.

I cashed in 6th for $333. So for paying $75 to learn if I could read and play live, I'd say I did pretty well. Beginner's luck? I think my game has come far from just being ok online. I might have to go again.

"Fonkey"

2007-03-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

I just love how when out of pure frustration and anger you make any move, hit a 3 outter and are immediately a donk, donkey, "Fonkey", idiot, jackass, etc...

Sometimes you make a play with no thought or consideration and shit just happens. Well, screw it. Nothing left to say!

Hardrock... Hard sell...

2007-02-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

Not a good day. Lost about $900... and was not even logged on to a poker site. My meager portfolio took a hit as with everyone else. I won't be running or selling off though. I have had better luck in the market than on the felt.

I want to go on a bender this weekend just not sure where. It will not be at the Hardrock Casino. That would be the one in Tampa. Not the one in Hollywood. Not the one where Anna Nicole Smith croaked. That is enough publicity from me on her.

Currently the Hardrock has jacked up the juice on their tables, mainly SNGs. Anyone paying 25% juice on a buy in has got to be insane or desperate. I seriously can't understand why a place that doesn't even give free drinks to players feels a need to rape them even more. And they take a $50 dealer toke out of the first place winnings. Can you say, " Fuck the Seminoles" ?

And it's not even football season yet!

Page theft getting old...

2007-02-23T19:11:00.000-05:00

Bobby "Huge Junk" Bracelet seems to have had someone redirect his page. Hope they rot in hell. This is getting old and after Pauly's site went through this I question Blogger security.

When porn gets old...

2007-02-23T17:33:00.000-05:00

Between being down and quitting poker, I have also found that being single leaves me some free time to explore new masturbatory material... so without further ado... a list of interesting weekend arousal's:

Girl Next Door: Rubbed one out to the strip club scene
Aeon Flux: Got 2 out in the span of about 45 minutes
Varsity Blues: Whipped Cream Bikini!!!

Took a break and checked out this new hottie(NSFW)Bree Olsen. Yeah, Bree, I am single!
Back to my search for woody material...

Very Bad Things: Asia Carrera getting nailed (in the back of the head)
Into the Blue: Seriously, I don't remember a moment my hand was off my cock while watching Jessica Alba
Three Timing: Okay, so I snuck a porn DVD in but between Kinzie Kinner and Jesse Jane, a good extra hour of baby juice a building
Suicide Kings: Nothinggggg in here will arouse me except watching Dennis Leary beat some fuckhead step dad's head in with a toaster
40 Year Old Virgin: You know how I know you are gay? You didn't click this link to see Stormy
Shrek: Cameron Diaz as a princess(before Dusk) yeah, I did go there
Lord of War: Another one with no gratuitous nudity, but I still found the two models enough to nudge me to pop it out and polish it off

That covered a day off with no poker and very little porn, but I need to say, there were no bad beats. All good!

Tilt is ghey...Warning... negative, depressing post...

2007-02-18T22:37:00.001-05:00

Anger management might be in store for my future. God knows poker isn't. After losing most of my roll online on my massive tilt-fests, our fucking government seized the remianing funds and one outters and coinflips ended my last hobby.

No one wants a bat beat story, but ever since my Aces (pokertracker had AA once in 379 hands and Kings once in 541) got cracked by a one outter, I just assumed I am not lucky. Well, just told myself that once again. I am ready to move on. Fuck poker. Fuck porn.

I need some ideas. I am sick of getting naked and dealing with the porn industry. Hell, I ain't getting laid in my personal life so I won't miss it much. I need a career. I need to just say fuck whatever I am doing and move on. Sad thing is, I don't want to deal with people. I like my sheltered lonely life to an extent, but the path is plain and leads no where.

What's a college dropout with nothing but management experience do? Suggestions? Ideas? Welfare checks? Ideas and comments welcome!

Well, until I hit Las Vegas and a craps table, good luck on the felt while I find something to punch.

I'd give you a dollar but...

2007-02-18T00:39:00.000-05:00

Our cocksucking government seized it from NETeller.

They call it Full Tilt Suckout for a reason right?

Vegas Round 2...

2007-02-14T17:33:00.000-05:00

This was a good trip where I knew I'd see some fighting, drinking and alot more gambling than sleep and must say, I think I created a crew of degeneratesssssssss. Friday night was a nice late night porn session, meaning I only had about 4 hours to get home and pack and sleep to make my ass early Sat am flight. As usual I over packed which shouldn't be normal for a straight guy, but knowing my balls crawl up inside my ass when its cold, I didn't want to gamble on my own warm-blooded self.

Sleep didn't happen and I shot out and got to the airport at a nice time only do deal with a major dilemma, get my seat or take options a or b. I am a sucker for deals and US Air overbooked and offered me, a) $200 or b) a free round trip anywhere anytime.... damn.. takes me less time to decide to muck AA. Talk about pressure!

I took C) neither. I am meeting the crew and knowing we need to get to drinking, gambling and eating asap I wasn't gonna fuck them over... even if it meant a free trip to Vegas later(which I regret as I am writing this as I am a) off Saturday and b) know my Ashlie is going to be in Vegas THIS weekend). Two hours to go, I popped 3 Tylenol PMs and chowed down on a Chic-Fil-A biscuit. The flight was a blur, I don't even remember a song on my iPod.

Needless to say, airport was a madhouse being UFC/Super Bowl weekend, but Moon found me pretty quick and got my luggage without a hitch. Of course, he had to comment on the straight guy having more luggage than the gay one. Whateverrr.

Maddog rang my phone and found us pretty quick and low and behold Shy had to take her sweet ass time til she found us. I mean hello.... everyone knows me! We got a cab pretty quick and checked in at the Monte Carlo and locked our shit up pretty quick. Weather was nice and we walked over to the Forum Shops and hit up Spago and got our first drinks in of the trip.... certainly a good start when liquid goodness is ingested.

Spago was pretty interesting, just having a Cafe menu and had to admit... I got the St. Louis style ribs and can't complain.... kick ass fries with it. Moon and Shy shared my choice and Maddog had some salad. What a pussy! We got out there and got back over to the Monte Carlo for a little BJ action. No, no... no hookers yet, Just some 21 action. I dropped $100 and did ok with some $10 bets and think I ended up down $40, Maddog was counting cards or calories... must have got them confused... but think he just gave up and called it quits. So much for those 5 minutes!

We decided on the game plan and got everyone ready to meet up later depending on our time frame. Moon and I compared bets for the UFC fight and basically picked the same way down so we just threw together 3 bets against each other to make it somewhat interesting. We shot over to Mandalay Bay and got settled pretty quick. The testosterone was in the air and blood about to be shed! Of the nine fights... only 3 were really hyped up, so after a few minutes, we started giving each other 2-1 on underdogs, just to make them more interesting.

Moon was thrilled to see Tito but with my girl Jenna (NSFW). Seems like a few porn stars stuck around a few weeks after the AVNs to strut their stuff and sell ???? I was in love. I still wish UFC would let the women MMA fighters into their events. A few drinks, a few draws and a few knockouts and it was over. Lutter didn't make weight and there was no "title" fight. Silva beat him anyways and I was down $30 for the fight and -$60 over the day. We got a hold of Maddog and Shy and they hadn't left for N9NE yet so we all got a taxi and got there with time to spare.

We hit the Palms and the place was packed. Dial a shot time, I got the gang a round of Goldschlager since its a nice strong start and would warm everyone up. We made call #1 and toasted our badasses. We strutted over to N9NE and the line for Rain night club had even more porn stars... Where are they when I need one?

We got our seats about 15 minutes after we got there and certainly enjoyed a fabulous meal. Surf and Turf was phenomenal, and yet again, Maddog took a different path and got the veal chop. A thing of beauty and hope its on the menu for my next visit. We killed our cocktails and proceeded to the pits. I can't remember if we gambled or not. Poker room looked pretty week so we jetted back to the Monte Carlo for some recovery time.

After about 30 minutes we grouped up and I taught the group Chinese Poker. Thank god we weren't playing for money yet, I was getting hammered by the beginners' luck boxes. Rough. I left still needed to work up from my blackjack losses and hit roulette. I'd have to say I was on Chinese Poker Tilt and started betting black and odd alot! 9 and 26 hit once each.. once when I played 6 accidentally and once when I was ordering a drink. Finally a 26 hit and my stack was pretty, I cashed out up $110. $50 up for the trip!

Sunday (later that morning)...
We gathered up for craps lessons. I never understood craps. I didn't understand the lesson. But I like to gamble. And little did I know what this little lesson would do to us...I can hear it now,"Jailhouse." Moon and I lost interest quick in the craps lesson and went back to roulette. Taking a small win we decided its sportsbook time and went to place my bets on Grossman and da' Bears. My UF friend, don't fail me now! I took my Bear's on the points and got my update on the rain in Miami. I think the Bears, under and 4th quarter field goals were locks! Hey, guess what Russ=Dumbass.

Moon and Maddog grabbed some grub and I met up with Shy and her practice craps session. We caught up with them at the restaurant and my voice(lacking a voice) need some serious help after screaming at the fighters the night before(I swear I wasn't asking Jenna if she wanted to be tea bagged, I swear!). I ended up getting a Cobb salad and Irish coffee. Russ scores a pussy point! At least I had alcohol bitches!

We made our way over to Green Valley Ranch for the sportsbook and Sushi+Sake all you can eat deal. We had time to kill so we grabbed another round of Goldschlager for Dial a Shot round 2. I know I didn't sound like I do on cam but fuck it, we are in Vegas and you aren't!

Now I know our little crew understand poker hands, so I sat them down at Pai Gow for a cheap table to learn the game. Little did I know, I created another monster! After about 15 minutes I was on Pai Gow tilt and betting my last$25 on every hand and the damn bonus $1 on everyone else's hands. Ohhhhh snap trips aces and a Joker? DQB!!!!!

The game started and we strolled over to the sportsbook and couldn't find a fucking seat. Amazing. You think there are gamblers in Vegas? We had some drinks and fuck yes, yes yes!!! Run back that kick off! Well, lets just say, I was worried after the first 5 minutes. Bears with no ground game? Fuck!

We lost Moon to the slots and picked him up as it was time to introduce Shy to sushi. She prefers cunt, just not raw tuna. Oh well. I was stoked, I am sure I killed about $60 in sushi and know we all ate our moneys worth. Selection wasn't enough for Moon and Mad but fuck them, the quality was enough for me. One more Dial a Shot and we had fully depressed several people that didn't get to join us.

By the time we made it back to the game during the 4th quarter, all hell had broken loose, Moon had made a bed date with Maddog (all in jest) and the Bears and myself just got anally raped!

We moved to some selective games and Shy and I checked out craps. I understood a few things, but didn't have all the odds figured out. Needless to say, I dropped a $100 in less than ten rolls. Seeing Shy with the red chips, I got envious. The gentleman to my left said know when to walk away. Ha! I am "The Russ". I got my chips and it was Shy's roll. Lets just say 10 minutes later she's still rolling and I am only down $50. Come back!

Shy craps out after 15 minutes and I am only down $50... she's looking back about even and the guy to her right is now up about $400 betting nothing but quarters. The table is growing and we can't get a fucking cocktail! Um, Super Bowl weekend and no cocktail waitress? Tilt! Back down $100.

So I roll a good 10 minute streak and keep my bets small and crap out. Back even! I hit a few Field bets and sit out a few rolls and keep mixing it up... going for a feel and manage to get up $100. By this time we have a high roller dropping $500 pass line bets and paying off his marker. Shy is about to roll... and here it comes... (Now I hadn't notice exactly what Shy was wearing but somehow I guess her long sleeved striped shirt could be mistaken for prisoner attire)
S
omeone starts chanting "jail house. jail house.". She's wearing stripes... and she robbed the casino. People chanting and jumping up and down for the next 15 minutes. She can't fucking miss! Needless to say we both walk away up and get with the crew for more drinks. Maddogs tearing up BJ and Moon is putting the dealer on Pai Gow tilt. Love it. I trained them well. Shy and I look at each other. Back to CRAPS!

The intensity died down a bit and then perked up on our return, finally with drinks! The run wasn't as good so we break and I find myself at the Pai Gow tables. Moon slides me $150 and I run it up to about $350 for him. I just had no desire to play either. Strange? Possibly. But whatever, wasn't my money. Time to jet.

We hit Fatburgers and chow some late night burger and fries. No fucking clue I had room for it, I was still full from sushi, but damn, I love me some Fatburger. Country music on the jukebox anmd I wanted to shoot myself. But since Jailhouse prefers cuntry we let it play and I kept my veins intact.

We hopped back over to the MC and somehow ended up playing slots. Moon seemed to have some luck left over from GVR but it was the quickest $60 I ever spent. I had to go over to roulette and make that back.. which I did in about 12 spins. Some how I got Moon to place a perfect parlay bet and hit paying him off close to 4-1. I made him walk away after that.

I needed a shower and headed up to my room but decided if I found a second wind we'd head over to Caesar's poker room and see what was up. It's not a far walk, but Moon won a pussy award for taking a cab over (OK my feet fucking HURT but still... 2 blocks!) Maddog was just a pussy for not going!

I love Caesar's poker room. It is by far one of the larger and nicer rooms, but it was DEAD. Basically about after an hour of 3/6 Limit we took all we could of listening to Ms. Boa and Boobs talking about the pimp and hooker with nasty feet at Fatburger earlier, so we took our asses back to MC and crashed.

Monday am...
One thing about Monte Carlo. Don't expect to sleep. Paper thin walls, doors that slam quicker than Anna Nicole Smith getting publicity, and housekeeping rapping on doors at 9am... Um, I got 3 hours of sleep douche bags! It just wasn't ideal for sleeping. I am glad I didn't need that much anyways!

We met up and checked our bags and worked our way back down to the main restaurant and got a light breakfast. I split a club because wasn't that hungry and by this point, my lips were so chapped you'd have thought I was a Iraq prisoner and mustard was the US troops torturing me. Chapstick is a blessing! But a little too late. I am on Chapped Lip Tilt. Time to find a craps table!

We sent Maddog on his way and made good on our promise to Jailhouse to go to the Stratosphere. We zoomed up to the top and each chose a respective ride, and went for a spin. Fun times. We lost Moon while on his ride so we chilled with some beverages and caught up with him a few minutes later and headed to craps! Well, I dropped a quick $200 and went on Tilt and needless to say, Jailhouses luck went to hell too. The table sucked. It took some time but we found our grooves and made some good bets. I am not one for pressing my luck. I cooled off while others were hot. Needless to say. I am now lucky number 7. When Shy crapped out, I hit 5 SEVENS in a row! All while pushing my field bets. Lucky for me, I laid a $102 bet on the field and Boxcar. AND IT FUCKING HIT. Ok, I'll take my $60 profit and jet! We had to get some grub and jet soon anyways.

Back at Caesar's we did 2 more Dial a Shots and got a kick ass meal at Cheesecake Factory. Having one in Tampa and never going, I finally found what I was missing. Bang Bang Chicken was fucking amazing. I will have to have it again and soon. I told jailhouse we'd have to get her a chip from Caesar's so I quickly gave away $49 at roulette to get her a souvenir. What a nice guy I am, and she calls me mean!

It was a great trip and I can't think of anywhere else I'd like to vacation ever again. I wish more people can make it in the future and I can teach more people to play gin at the airport, and how to use their iPod, but the fact winning this time made it so much better. I didn't get my ass kicked like some(Lutter, Griffin, Rivera) and managed to only deal with one obnoxious stripper on the flight home that couldn't wait 5 minutes for a handicapped older woman to get a safe seat on the plane. Someday, when her looks fail and she's that older woman, I hope someone yells at her sorry rude ass to hurry up.

See you in Vegas in 3 months!

BoDog

2007-02-14T17:31:00.000-05:00

Well, here are some pics from the game and pregame festivities... I look like shit... and felt like it for a few days!

Tom and Dawn...

Emily, Tom, and Dawn

Crew drinking!

This shirt brought to you by... the problem.

2007-01-19T16:32:00.000-05:00

Need I say more?

Support my "lack of skill game" habit... buy a shirt.

Past Ideas Revisited

2007-01-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

Fuck Frist. We know that, but we can't punish him anymore. Who can we punish as a whole for the fucktards that supported the UIGEA? eBay and PayPal? I use PayPal as a savings account, but now eTrade is offering 5.50%... Time to move there. But how many people will actively stop using eBay or PayPal as punishment and screw them out of the millions they make in fees?

You notice eBay has no problem charging fees on all the poker related items and apparel sold through the site. They can't fathom losing all that business from the mass amount of home games that pop up weekly and the endless supply of chips and tables advertised. Or those with massive amounts of points that are worthless dollar-wise unless you want to volunteer to be a walking billboard (haven't found a way to add my affiliate code to my hoodie and hat yet).

So even though as a collective we may never be able to fuck over eBay or PayPal to BlackMarket crash, it's good to know I won't give them a fucking dime.

Just need someone else to punish.

Mookie Blow-up... what's next?

2007-01-18T21:50:00.000-05:00

Donk it up! I did a bit last night, used my draws big and small, put some pressure on and generally played ABC poker. Not happy about a few beats I gave... especially on the river... but it's part of the game. Best part was how much Waffles had me laughing. Generally had a great time with the bloggers.
Kind of mentally blew up at the final table. I had 7 pocket pairs all night, once was JJ, which I laid down preflop to a big reraise, and QQ which Lucko had either AK, KK, or JJ, and flop hit him either way... that's all I had for paired paint. Not happy. Went tilt-a-licous around the bubble, but had to get my chips in regardless.
Now with no Neteller, my offshore options are limited without $10K to open an account at a trustworthy institution. So, gonna try not to tilt off my bankroll like usual.
I have had 2 winning months in 14 months of grinding... so needless to say... I reload often. Those gambles at higher limits only go so well for so long.
Vegas is coming up in a few weeks and I want to get a camera. I have a digital, but can't seem to keep it from eating batteries. My girlfriend recommended a Kodak EasyShare. I don't take pictures a lot and I refuse to think I am photogenic, no matter how many hours I spend on cam, so I am not sure I really want to invest in a camera at all. My 12 pound F4s is still sitting in a safe. Any ideas?
And last but not least...I have started job hunting. What's next?
Oh, and as to my my Hammer being 1-2 last week, I didn't get dealt the Hammer once this week!

Rough. Just call me Tony Romo

2007-01-13T14:38:00.000-05:00

Last night was rough. I dropped the ball. I basically replicated the previous posts included picture. In the shower. But chocolate milk. I know..."TMI".
Just thought I'd share it with you. I came, I saw, I hurled. Now, whats the next challenge?

Got Milk? I have a gallon...

2007-01-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, Last night was busto. I tried my milk experiment and barely could handle a half gallon of whole chocolate milk with only 3 heaves. Tonight, I am going to slow my intake, throw a sandwich in there and pray. All on cam. Either I am a goat or a hero, but for $1000 bucks... Wouldn't you try?

This isn't me, but more what I expect...

FTP aka Donky Factory aka Luckboxes that haven't been hit by cars yet and hope they do soon.

2006-12-13T01:29:00.000-05:00

Typical freeroll... on FTP... you know where this is going...

Names have not been changed... run over this guy ( then back over him and then accelerate and skid over him) please!

Full Tilt Poker Game #1400940434: .COM 7-Seat Giveaway Rd. 1 (9307247), Table 76 - 30/60 - No Limit Hold'em - 1:21:40 ET - 2006/12/13
Seat 1: cchris0220 (1,225), is sitting out
Seat 2: theshadow70 (1,190), is sitting out
Seat 3: KrazyBangs (2,018)
Seat 4: Lucky37 (2,569)
Seat 5: djnoj (2,385)
Seat 6: TheKingJamison (5,858)
Seat 7: Pesh (3,050)
Seat 8: FTP DONK (1,245), is sitting out
Seat 9: Str8ninG (1,315), is sitting out
Pesh posts the small blind of 30
FTP DONK posts the big blind of 60
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KrazyBangs [Qd Qc]
Str8ninG folds
cchris0220 folds
theshadow70 folds
KrazyBangs raises to 240
Lucky37 folds
djnoj folds
TheKingJamison folds
Pesh calls 210
FTP DONK folds
*** FLOP *** [2d 4s Jd]
Pesh bets 300
KrazyBangs raises to 900
Pesh raises to 2,810, and is all in
KrazyBangs calls 878, and is all in
Pesh shows [8h 8d]
KrazyBangs shows [Qd Qc]
Uncalled bet of 1,032 returned to Pesh

And the finale.... as if you didn't already know...

Comments or suggestions? Not on playig the hand, but how to kill luckboxes.

Sick sense of humor

2006-12-07T23:20:00.000-05:00

So Saturday after a few hours or movies, I hit up a NL $100 freeroll. I finish 20th. Out of 1800. Sick. Can't win a dime in any other games, but make $2.
So today...

And you wonder my life is on serious tilt? Who wants to be fucking lucky in two freerolls? Back to back times playing.

Buy this shirt cause I can't make money at poker...

2006-12-07T15:33:00.000-05:00

This shirt brought to you because I can't believe people waste money on video games when they can just play poker and make money off me.

I hate poker

2006-12-04T22:49:00.000-05:00

I hate poker. I hate suckouts. I hate idiots at the $200 SNGs. It's not fun. Same reason I dropped out of school. It got boring and I couldn't cut it. So like everything else, I went on a tilt induced bender (playing some damn fine poker) and still couldn't squeeze out a win. I thought I learned something from reading, studying, chatting, but everything in poker has gone to hell. So I donated my last $1600 to thte luckboxes and donkeys at FTP. May you all get cancer, hit by a car and live in comas the rest of your fucking lives. I am just sick of you. I am not lucky. And I accept the fact I suck without luck. So just because I learned to drop the hammer...

bust a pro...

and even fold quad aces preflop cause I prefer real starting hands...

... poker ain't worth it. I'll stick to getting screwed over by the rest of the natural world. Sick of getting it online too.

Bangs, out!

DayBreak and PLO

2006-11-23T02:51:00.000-05:00

What's the need to show of this stack at a .05/.10 table?
Saw the premiere of Day Break tonight. The show is awesome. Butterfly Effect but in the future. Great story so far, I may have to miss the Mookie from now on.

Fuck You FTP

2006-11-22T14:47:00.000-05:00

Well, apparently my 9th place finish in last night's Omaha PL DS wasn't worth keeping in the lobby for even 24 hours yet every other $5 NL is. So without the screen cap all I can say is 9th place for a $10 profit. Um, didn't everyone at the WSOP at the FINAL TABLE at least get 10x the buy-in? Screwey I tell you.

Shirt of the Week

2006-11-21T17:57:00.000-05:00

This shirt brought to you by my lonely guys.

Tao...No.... Absolute... WTF?

2006-11-10T17:54:00.000-05:00

Um, yesterday I click on all the hyperlinks to Dr. Pauly's Tao of Poker, and it doesn't work.
Today, I click on them and get redirected to Absolute Pokers homepage. IT IS NOT APRIL FUCKIN FOOL'S DAY!!!

This ain't kewl.

Railbirdbrains

2006-11-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

You made your minimum $50 Deposit. You won a BB at a $.25/50. A player sits with $50 in seat four and raises your BB. You find 10J and re raise him all in defending your blind. He calls and flips over AA and proceeds to stack you.

Now you find yourself left with 50 cents on tilt. Off to the rail...
If you find yourself tilted after losing your bankroll, you might feel like needing to express yourself and begging to get back in the game. Do not become that railbird.

Please please please, do not ask at any table for $1 for a turbo SNG. The minimum transfer is $5 and no I won't loan or give it to you because you blew your bankroll.

This courtesy to sit and chat is not an excuse to act like a scroll happy 12 year old blowing their allowance or a 23 year old thug with a K-Fed avatar. Do not taunt players you will never sit with. Do not beg players you play with. Do not attempt to prove you have larger Internet balls and play " Yo Mamma" with other observers or the player you lost your money too.

Full Tilt Poker, is Learn, Chat and Play with the Pros. A place to play poker. A place for mature people to gather, rant and rave, deal a bad beat, curse a bad beat and move on. Do not chastise players for 50 lines for catching a 4 outer. Maybe they haven't learned pot odds or maybe they are from the fish tank that once was Party Poker. You have 4 lines max and it should consist of "OMG" "WTF" "keep my chips warm", or "NH" while biting your tongue and crossing your fingers (I plead guilty, your honor). You must accept tough and bad and even the good beats in this game with the ability to move on.

Now with your remaining 50 cents you need something to do. So you check out the pros in the lobby and find Mike The Mouth, E-Dog, and J Dags as they play for $50K pots. Just because you have CHANGE in your bank gives you NO right to ask them for a nickel, dime or $500 loan or "gift". And if you do, expect the thrashing to begin. With hundreds of railbirds at FTP some will be showcasing their birdbrains. Some will be "Pros" on other sites. Some will be Mike's "best friends". Some will even claim to be E-Dogs "bookie". It may be in good fun. It may even be some serious delusions. Do not be the person to cross the boundary of railbird etiquette.

But if one wants to spend time watching and supporting the pros, one should not have to listen to you talk to another adult about your issues, bad beats, or your own personal vices or theirs. And if you choose to try and ruin the game they enjoy playing by begging for money or calling them out from the rail, take a seat instead and talk with your cards. Act your age railbird and post your bad beats in the Forum.

Shirt of the Week

2006-11-08T16:37:00.000-05:00

This shirt sponsored by me and the Captain that gave me reasons to wear something like this.

Positional Disadvantage, Positive Returns with AAxx.

2006-10-26T20:57:00.000-04:00

I am not an advocate of slowplaying AAxx in any situation and that certainly accounts to Pot Limit Omaha. being a game of drawing, position does play a critical role as well as understanding pot odds.

The following was a scenario where the VICTIM bought in with a minimum amount and slowly stole some cheap pots. But with his position he never bet or raised to know where he was at. Lower limits tend to have a high ratio of players that like to call pre-flop without raising. Even in position too few players raise to establish betting control or to limit the number of players seeing the flop. Such a loose game needs adjusting especially with strong hands out of position. These are also players you cannot bluff off with a value bet. You need to play the nuts or eventually you are going to be a losing player.
Setup:

Full Tilt Poker Game #XXXX: Table Toy (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50 - Pot Limit Omaha -
Seat 1: VICTIM ($34.80)
Seat 2: ($7.55)
Seat 3: ($153.95)
Seat 4: ($18.50)
Seat 5: Krazybangs ($85.25)
Seat 6: ($31.25)
Seat 3 posts the small blind of $0.25
Seat 4 posts the big blind of $0.50
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KrazyBangs [2c Ah Ad Jc]

UTG is not a strong spot even at 6 max. Raising now with this hand only gives odds for others to call increasing pot odds for players in better positions. If a raise comes I can either reraise to isolate or call and dump the hand if I do not connect. No reason to over commit in this position.
KrazyBangs calls $0.50
Seat 5 folds
VICTIM calls $0.50
Button calls $0.50
SB calls $0.25
BB checks
*** FLOP *** [5c Jh As]

Here is a good rainbow flop giving me top set.
SB and BB check. I want to check-raise and carry some money into building the pot, hopefully have enough callers to reraise the pot and not give anyone odds to call. But since no one showed strength I can only hope VICTIM or the BUTTON attempt a pot bet to accomplish this. Knowing that most players don't follow pot odds, even a bet at these stakes most players will call with 2 pair or a straight draw at the wrong odds.
Even by committing any chips to the pot I hold one of my outs for a Full House if I need the board to pair.

KrazyBangs Checks.

VICTIM and BUTTON check.

*** TURN *** [5c Jh As] [Td]
Action killer.

SB and BB check.

Here I feel I am behind. I don't want to commit more chips out of position even though top set might be good still. Its possible someone caught a straight for free. Even betting to represent I have a made straight myself, I risk being reraised by someone WITH a made hand meaning my odds are decreasing. I haven't committed anything so I will see what actions take place.

KrazyBangs Checks.

VICTIM bets $2.50. With a nut straight showing this bet is a bit high but common with no flush draw on the board. You want to extract chips at any level and give players the wrong odds to call.

BUTTON, SB, and BB all fold.

IMPLIED ODDS.

I have top set which he probably hasn't put me on. Seeing here I am probably beat I need to figure I have 9 outs to make a boat or quads. If the blinds and button had called I'd have been given relatively decent odds to call. But with all 3 folding and not raising I find myself relying on Implied Odds. With his normal play and position he seems to be looking to get a cheap pot and not lose what he has won so far. I have to ask myself, "Even if I don't make my hand, is he willing to call a bluff?" As well as, "If he does have the nut straight and I make my boat, how committed is he to it?"

What is a horrible play based on pot odds:

KrazyBangs Calls $2.50.

*** RIVER *** [5c Jh As Td] [5h]

Money card. Second Nuts.

No way am I going to put him on 55xx or JJxx if he didn't bet a set on the flop. Pot is at $7.50 and I figure if he has the nut straight I am going to get reraised since I didn't bet my set. But at most I want to give him odds to at least reraise sensing a steal bet.

KrazyBangs bets $4
VICTIM raises to $19.50

Now he is committed for the rest of his $12.30 to call if I raise him all in.

KrazyBangs raises to $44. Overbetting for a "bluff" touch. Even if he feels we tied, he will call.
VICTIM calls $12.30 and is all in.

KrazyBangs shows [2c Ah Ad Jc] (a full house, Aces full of Fives)
VICTIM mucked [5d Jd 4s 9d] - a full house, Fives full of Jacks
KrazyBangs showed [2c Ah Ad Jc] and won ($68.10) with a full house, Aces full of Fives

If you are going to reraise, don't reraise without the nuts. By slowplaying AA out of position and not over committing anything preflop and at the flop by calling $2.50, I netted $65 dollars. Knowing the common moves at this level I felt I had an advantage to slow playing AAxx out of position where I could get away from them if necessary. But by raising them out of position preflop I might have won the blinds or the same amount post flop when the VICTIM caught 2 pair, or have missed the flop entirely over played AAxx out of position and lost my initial raise.

But at no time did I ever commit to this pot from out of position with AA yet still maximized its strength.
Know you opponents, levels and most of all pot odds, but never over value your Rockets.

Oh Hell Yes!

2006-10-23T19:51:00.000-04:00

http://www.saw3.com/legend/legend.html

Bad Beat on Cancer

2006-10-11T17:57:00.000-04:00

There is a private league holding a charity tournament with pro appearances.
Click a link to download. Thanks to the Kingqueensuited site forholding this fun event.
Location: Full Tilt Poker
Date/time: Oct 15 at 9pm EST
Buy-in: $5.00 plus $5.00 entry fee.
The whole entry fee will be donated to Bad Beat on Cancer.
Game: Double stack 9 handed NL hold em
Password: badbeat

For more info on Bad Beat on Cancer visit their myspace home page.

Bad Combo

2006-09-29T01:28:00.000-04:00

Purell
+
Fire
+
Nipples
=

OUCH OH MY GOD TO HOLY HELL THAT HURTS!

I am a sellout...

2006-09-28T16:16:00.000-04:00

Yes. I am a sellout. First I am Jaime Gold and now I am a member of the myspace community. I am in total hiding. Don't even try finding me. I don't want to be found. I just started it up to meet people that play poker. Simple as that. Well, girls that play poker. I am evil aren't I? Perfect for that establishment.

Vegas Countdown

2006-09-27T15:17:00.000-04:00

4 Days...

I hope on a 10 am flight and deal with engines roaring, babies crying, RLS, and chewed up iPod headphones. I love roadtrips. I love to drive backroads. Anything but a straight line. I like airports. I had a blast with the Tennessee trip and wish I could travel more. So I am getting a vacation. I get to get away from porn and chats and carpal tunnel pain from molesting a mouse for 15 hours a day.

But there is a downside. I don't deserve a vacation. Nope. I don't deserve one at all.

I have too much guilt. Too much panic going on. My life and credit (in that order) are on the line. I should be job/lawyer/arsonist hunting. I am so stressed if I rip out my last hair I am going to look like Michael Chiklis.

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. I need to learn how to. I plan on having fun. I plan on gambling. I plan on leaving some sins and replace them with a few others. Not that I don't already commit these at home. I just have less reminders of home to remind me.

I wish I had someone to take with me. Someone that would get hammered with me, gamble with me, get obnoxiously drunk with me in a place where it doesn't matter. But I am single. I guess it can't be a bad thing if I plan on 12 hour benders of chips and liquor at the tables. Sin City isn't exactly Venice.

Well, I have to go shopping for some jeans. I still don't know how pimped out I want to get for sitting at a poker table. I am glad I can finally use the Abercrombie Gift Card my ex never took for her birthday.

PLO and MBJ

2006-09-26T19:59:00.000-04:00

Call me Jaime Gold.

I can be a donkey. I had some bad reads some good reads, but in the end, my cards fell and I won the Weekly Message Board Junkies NL MTT tourny. It was a good game. I never feel super confident, and just played with patience I am happy. A happy donkey. But happy.

Pot-Limit Omaha has been good and bad. I didn't have fun at the lower limits, moved up and dropped $320 in a session. I moved back down. I am at back at a 7BB/hour profit so feeling better. I am not sure how much PokerTracker will work for me at PLO, but if anyone has an opinion tell me.

I ams tressing a lot this week. I really think I am gonna lose everything with an impending bankruptcy. That's what you deal with when it comes to Homeowners Associations. I can't fight it. Can't afford to. SOL.

Had a blast from the past. Nothing good or bad came from it. Just an experience I don't want to go through again. I am still looking for the rich girl that likes to gamble and travel and can help support me and my kittiessssss. Pic to follow if I can ever figure out how to move images from my cellphone to the email.

I find that I make bad reads in life and bad decisions and the same happens on the tables. I get so bored I just need some excitement. While I never fool around or really live to any extremes in life, I have found that I am still getting into deepshit. Poker 's solution: REBUY! But there's no rebuying in life eh?

Getting ready for my trip to Vegas and my biggest decision yet... New jeans... any thoughts...Either

or....

Guys have tough choices too ladies.

I can't smile

2006-09-22T15:07:00.000-04:00

Reason 1 why I hate pictures of myself: See Below.
Reason 1 why I never smile: See Below.

I said it's great to be a FLORIDA GATOR...

2006-09-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

WOW. Unfucking real. All I can say about Neyland Stadium and the Gators squeaking out a nail biting, gut wrenching sloppy but fair 21-20 victory over the Volunteers. And they fans weren't overly obnoxious. They were a bit over-confident in the beginning.... but I just reminded them of the fact I had a WHOLE year to brag.... and now another year. See you in the Swamp next year.
The trip started normal, lugging shit around the airport, no clue where I was going. Lemmings have more direction than me. Missed my Cinnabun. They did have Chik-Fil-A so I sucked it up, even if they are on my banned list. Got some am poker in... nothing stellar, not many people playing at 5:30 am on the east coast. Here are the fucking death traps I rode in.

My god. No Xanax, just a crushed styrofoam water cup from Chik-Fil-A. I can think of Nightmare on Elm Street movies, where the kids had better chances of surviving.
I got scared hearing a delay, but it wasn't major. The trip went fine and I arrived on time. Bet a kid going to the game for a recruiting trip. Damn, this kid needed two seats. I told him Florida needs a tightend. Hope he gets a letter from them.
Had a killer meal at The Chop House. Definitely good shit. They know how to cook a Prime Rib! Had some drinks (quite strong and quite strong) at some club turned sports bar for the day. GATOR FANS IN THE HIZZLE!!!!!!!!

It rocked.

Neyland stadium. Nice stadium for sure. Big campus, a lot of walking helped work up my alcohol appetite!
Florida looked like shit. Sorry guys... I am not a Tim Tebow fan. Fuck Meyer, you have a QB that can run and throw, but use him for NOTHING but QB draws? I lost some respect for your play calling.
Strip Wilber of his scholarship. The kid will NEVER make a clutch Field Goal.

Okay, back at the shithole errrrrr hotel and no wireless, no cable and no hot water. I tried to get some bleach to bathe in but hope the soap did its job.
I actually got to sleep after a little Family Guy and SportsCenter. Nothing like watching upset recaps. Poor, poor Bowden.

Sunday I watched Culpepper suck ass for the Dolphins. Killed my fantasy team for a second week in a row. Benched! Had a few more drinks through 7 hours of football, but after the waitress took 30 minutes and still not deliver some food, it was time to go. Hit up Fuddruckers...old charm from the HS days, but just wasn't what I remembered. Hey, it's food. I will live.

I skipped the night at the hotel knowing I'd only get a few hours of sleep and hung out at the Icebox, errrrr, airport. Place was FUCKING COLD. I tried to get bumped to an earlier flight, but then found out my flight was cancelled and the bumped me to a later flight. Six hours later.
SIX HOURS LATER?

I decided to suck it up and nap where I could, but damn it's easier to pick out the way you want to die. I caught both flights and made it back for chat. And I was tired. Haven't played a hand of poker since. I am still catching up on the sleep. Which... I think I need to do now. Night!

What Karma?

2006-09-06T23:25:00.000-04:00

Ever get that feeling?
Karma's a bitch. And she's menstruating. Not to be sexist at all. But fuck I hate life. I do my good, I don't do (very) bad. But seems the bullshit never ends. What do I gotta do yo???

How can I tell so many people to fuck off I'd run out of ways to do it? I have been screwed every which way to Sunday except the way I'd like its not funny.
Hate my Ex. Hate the IRS. Hate my Condo board/property Management self-serving assholes. (Feel the anger and RAGE BUILDING????))))
(I don't even want to toucht he subject about the SPACES inbetween my links I cannot gid rid of!!!!) Anyone have an idea?

I read a lot of Blogs. Literally about 100 a day. They have something to say. I don't. It's depressing seriously. My life is so boring that all I can do is read about others lives to find enjoyment. So I am gonna bitch. Just so you can say "Dude, it's not that bad. You could be going through so-and-so" that I don't wanna hear.

You get in 700K in debt from going into business with a towelhead. You get fucked by the IRS for not paying $500 in income taxes cause your EX PARTNER NEVER ISSUED YOU PAYCHECKS. You hear from the Wage and Hour Dept. that he doesn't have to give you shit since you're a shareholder. Well if I was a fucking shareholder I wouldn't have been ran out!

Then buy a condo. Have association fees almost double from $210 a month to $350 in under a year. Then have a leak in a bedroom you can't show or rent out. FOR A YEAR.
Then I am told to fix it outta my own pocket and I will be reimbursed. Um, ok. And who is fixing the FUCKING ROOF?
... do I wanna get into the 12 MILLION they are talking about assessing us over the next 15 years for structural damages?... you don't wanna know...

Well, on the brighter side I get a vacation for the first time in who knows how many years. I am going to see some of the college football games I missed out in the past. Take the roadtrip I never thought I would. Gators better fucking win. I can't imagine taking a trip and watching them lose after busting my iPod after only having in a month (or less). That's what I get for deciding to work out. Sigh. There goes the Entourage marathon I was gonna watch.

Vegas. I can't wait. Gonna eat drink, play and play and play and see a show. Hope to catch "O".

I need recommendations. Any low limit Omaha PL games? Hell, any low limit NL games at all without insane rakes? I am poor as it is. Any great eats? Please all 4 people that read this; Let me know where I should go. I hear Wolfgang a lot, steakhouses everywhere, clubs (which aren't going to be packed on a Monday), a certain blogger might even recommend Diegos. But need some must eats. I HAVE to eat.

A HUGE thanks goes out to those that got this trip together. I only hope I can get my mind state together. Just being in a job not going anywhere, missing my education and dealing with the life I am handed sucks. But hopefully a few days away does some good.

Well, I am off to go back and flash the junk on cam. Bobby Bracelet my have it confirmed 4 times but I got about 120. But you still rock Bobby.

Any girls want to confirm... the Ex is gone and the line is... well... there is no line....

HOLY S#!T

2006-07-09T05:10:00.000-04:00

OMG, Ashlee Simpson looks fucking hot in her new video. Fix the nose, tease the hair, I might actually get hard over her instead of her sister for once....... time for implants!!!

Deadman's Bluff and Hilton sisters

2006-07-06T13:51:00.000-04:00

Finished Deadman's Bluff the next day. Another quick and easy read and entertaining. Anytime you introduce a flamethrower, I think I like it! I do recommend both books. So if your on a plane or relaxing by a pool, pick it up.

Also had a little home game which tilted me bad. And it carried over to the casino. I am no longer playing at the Rock. Between the blinds and the donkeys, my sanity is worth keeping. In the CO I have QQ and am the first raiser, blinds complete as well as UTG and 3 others.
Flop 9 3 3. Bet, I raise. Call. Re-raise by MP. I cap. Blinds fold.
Turn 7. Second heart. I bet, fold, fold, call, RAISE! I just call.
River J. Third heart. Check Check Check.
UTG K 3 off.
MP A 9 off.
I hate people. Even at a 2/2 structure what are they thinking.
Had AK twice and Wired 10s. So of four hands, I won zero. Don't expect much if you come to Florida. No player points, comps or free drinks from this place when they are taking 10% rake.

Ran into some new bloggers thanks to links from Tao of Poker, which I enjoy reading. God my life is boring in comparison. Off to job hunt!

Tilt Factor 10

2006-07-06T02:25:00.000-04:00

After some heavy tilting from odd ball players and just god knows what... Two Words: Presto and Rockets...

Full Tilt Poker Game #767148881: Table Covington Cross - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 4:34:56 ET - 2006/07/04
Seat 1: URaACEhole ($69.65)
Seat 2: withallyerpower ($44.35)
Seat 3: boca2000 ($96.65)
Seat 4: awpeh ($143.75), is sitting out
Seat 5: alusnova ($10.90)
Seat 6: VILLIAN ($127.40)
Seat 7: p1nkert0n ($37.50)
Seat 9: HERO ($88.05)
p1nkert0n posts the small blind of $0.50
HERO posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to HERO [5h 5c]
rarararama adds $100
URaACEhole folds
withallyerpower folds
boca2000 calls $1
alusnova folds
VILLIAN calls $1
awpeh stands up
p1nkert0n calls $0.50
HERO checks
*** FLOP *** [2d 5d 2h]
p1nkert0n checks
HERO checks
boca2000 checks
VILLIAN checks
*** TURN *** [2d 5d 2h] [Qd]
p1nkert0n checks
HERO bets $1
boca2000 folds
VILLIAN calls $1
p1nkert0n folds
*** RIVER *** [2d 5d 2h Qd] [Tc]
HERO bets $3
VILLIAN raises to $15
HERO raises to $27
VILLIAN raises to $60
HERO raises to $86.05, and is all in
VILLIAN calls $26.05
*** SHOW DOWN ***
HERO shows [5h 5c] (a full house, Fives full of Twos)
VILLIAN mucks
HERO wins the pot ($175.10) with a full house, Fives full of Twos

Full Tilt Poker Game #772459911: Table Arcadian Shores - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:18:30 ET - 2006/07/06
Seat 1: xx_trinsic_xx ($17.95)
Seat 2: Frostitute ($9.05)
Seat 3: Opal_88 ($9.70)
Seat 4: VILLIAN 1 ($8.90)
Seat 5: HERO ($10.40)
Seat 6: rolexplayer ($6.15)
Seat 7: jensurfer ($3.90)
Seat 8: She_hates_I88 ($6.60)
Seat 9: Scuba Steve343 ($10.55)
xx_trinsic_xx posts the small blind of $0.05
Frostitute posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to HERO [Ad Ac]
Opal_88 folds
VILLIAN 1 calls $0.10
HERO raises to $0.40
rolexplayer folds
jensurfer folds
VILLIAN 2 calls $0.40
Scuba Steve343 calls $0.40
xx_trinsic_xx folds
Frostitute calls $0.30
VILLIAN 1 calls $0.30
*** FLOP *** [Ks 5d 7d]
Frostitute bets $0.40
VILLIAN 1 calls $0.40
HERO raises to $10, and is all in
VILLAIN 2 calls $6.20, and is all in
Scuba Steve343 folds
Frostitute folds
VILLIAN 1 calls $8.10, and is all in
HERO shows [Ad Ac]
VILLAIN 2 shows [Kd Qs]
VILLIAN 1 shows [Kc Td]
Uncalled bet of $1.50 returned to HERO
*** TURN *** [Ks 5d 7d] [7h]
*** RIVER *** [Ks 5d 7d 7h] [Qc]
HERO shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
VILLIAN 1 shows two pair, Kings and Sevens
HERO wins the side pot ($4.60) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
VILLAIN 2 shows two pair, Kings and Queens
HERO wins the main pot ($19.05) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
VILLIAN 1 is sitting out
VILLAIN 2 is sitting out

I feel a bit better. Now taking applications for dates. 5 years has been too long.

Sit and Go's and Deadman's poker

2006-06-25T23:07:00.000-04:00

Deadman's Poker.

Read it straight through while at work. I liked it, and can't wait to get my hands on Deadman's Bluff, the follow up to DMP.
Had plenty of small twists, I related to the father and son fuck ups (me being a fuck up) and a lot of the backroom bs that you hear about but never see.
I Had ONE issue that stuck with me through the whole damn book. They do a version of the WSOP and the buy in is $10,000. Starting chips stacks(hold on to your seats MTT players).....
200. 200 chips. NOT 200,000. NOT 20,000. NOT 2,000.
200.
I had to ask myself should I continue with this joke til the punchline? But it didn't dwell on the Tournament itself indepth so I let it go. The entire book is really a setup for the second one I believe. Too much was left hanging. Gotta love Rufus Steele.

Right now I am loving Full Tilt. They have 90 man SNGs running for satellites to the Red Rock tournament qualifiers. They pay in points if you finish in the (points) more than once. I am set on getting a hoodie so I am busting my ass. 7 Final tables and I just can't close it out. Tilt Factor 7. Watch out walls!

Come stop by and check them out. They have a 100% bonus up to $600 for first deposits.

Yo Mamma!!

2006-06-22T14:55:00.000-04:00

Is Wilder Valderamma as mucha joke as I think? His dumb ass show and his horrendous tough guy attitude don't even make me laugh. I have seen pasta that was tougher at Mac.

Summer Catch is the only thing I will ever watch again with this guy in it.

Miami Heat---Yay!!!!

USA Soccer---WTF???

World Cup Refs--- Burn you fucking idiots!!!

I am going back to bed.

Sum of my feelings

2006-06-21T18:07:00.000-04:00

Made this line up in chat today and kind love it...describes me way to well...

"I feel like I have hit my quarter-life crisis where I hate everything, don't know what makes me happy anymore and think Xanax and Valium sandwiches chased with alcohol sounds like God's gift to the buffet line."

Need I say more?

Nice, I never saw this title block :-)

2006-06-19T13:42:00.000-04:00

Wow, things become clear when you have smoke in your eyes.
I have some time to chitchat and bitch. So I have some turkey legs and jerky in the smoker. First and foremost, I realized I may never see Vegas cause well, I suck. Second, only time I have seen the fountain show at the Bellagio was in Ocean's 11.
Until now... Everyone can enjoy... Click "play" to play. Might have to twice.

As seen on Break.com

I really love this site, just random stupid shit. Even idiots get their 15 minutes of fame.

This is the greatest poker game ever! Makes me wanna quit...

As seen on Break.com

Had a great time at the Rock again. Played some 2/2 LHE on my live game Saturday night. Chattiest table I have been at yet. Plenty of donks, fish and drunks. But at least no one was just out right fucking retarded to the point I wanted to punch them in the back of the head. My wired 10s did nothing, never hit one draw, one flush... but on hour 3, my black Aces held up on a board of Qd Jc 3c 10c Ad.

Then very next hand.... Quad Jacks. No one hit a flush so I didn't get much river action. Four hours I left +$14.
I hate rakes.

I fucked up and didn't email FTP on time for the Dorm Junkies NL tourny. I am good at fucking up. Then lost my $30 free money at PP playing .50/$1.... You just can't win at that level. Sorry. You can. I CAN'T.

Well, go watch some video, I am gonna read some more SS2 and check my smoker. Anyone have some herbs I can add (wink wink) ?

2006-06-10T21:40:00.000-04:00

Now for the porn part....

I more or less got into "porn" by accident. I got invited to a party. They were internet stars. I was an exhibitionist. I auditioned. I been flashing my junk all over the internet for 2 years.

Not a bad gig, but certainly not a lifetime achievement award worthy choice.

So this weekend, we had a nice little pornstar/chatter NL tourny and low low low limit cash game. It was a fun change from all the competitiveness of actually trying to grind out $50-$100 a night. Needless to say congratulations to sdsleepy and Moonie for their 1st and 3rd place finishes. Now if we can get some more people to make it more cutthroat..... (add evil grins here)

Next part is my job. Sitting in front of a computer and cameras for a few hours at a time. I am certainly not the hottest thing on the planet, but I guess my smile, dimples and bunsssss......... have a good draw. Did I mention I pretty much jerkoff all day? Physically and literally.....

Well, those that are curious can always stop by the dorm and say hi if you are curious. I don't mind, I like to chat, regardless of who is peeking. Now if I had a girlfriend that didn't care and wanted to join me, life would be perfect (calling all hot chicks!!!)

PKR

Just started beta testing PKR.com. Interesting site, fun game play but lacks a few features and certainly can tell its a beta veresion. Crash 90% of the time, no multitabling and callnig stations everywhere. I can only hope these people play with money the same way. The files are so huge and same with updates, it may not be profitable, but it will be fun to play at.

2006-06-04T15:41:00.000-04:00

Wow, and you'd think popping cat treats might be a sign to stay home.

Ever have those days where you know things aren't going well, and the signs say stay in bed?
I had one of those. And guess what, I STILL went to the Rock for my Saturday night Sunday morning live play. After reading SS2 for the little things I wanted to work on, I felt good. Really good. Then my shift at the dorm started.

Ok, normally store bought sushi isn't that bad. Reasonable price, reasonable fish. WARNING!!
DO NOT BUY ANY ROLL COVERED IN SAUCES. Tuna, that wasn't tuna. It looked like a piece of asphalt, buried in sticky rice, seaweed, avocado, and wasabi and red pepper sauces.

Bastards.

Well, as I prepare to enter chat I take my usual cocktail of Ephedra pills and caffeine laced soda to kick start my eye awaking kick in the nuts, prepare for pornsurfers, feet freaks, and the interesting chats to follow.
So I pop my pills and chase them down and start screwing the cap back on the cat treats. Yes, you read that right. Cat treats.

So I have my additional protein for the day, and pop the right pills (good to know I still have 10 bottles of the banned stuff), and proceed through 7 hours of bliss and porn filled chats. All the while I been reading up on SS2 Limit and 08, and watching weekend reruns of WPT and other mindless horrible TV that's on a Saturday night. Yes!!!!!! It's 3am.

3:30
Hit the Rock and find the godawful late night crowd and zero parking. Spent more money on gas than on rake for sure. 1/2 has an open seat and I am down with my chips in a heart beat.
For those that don't know, Florida basically has a joke version of casinos. 1/2 2/2 LHE, then the Stud and Omaha is the same. Don't know don't care its all No Foldem Holdem.

So for the 4 hours there and 16 hands I played. I think my J 9o and trip 6s were my only winners. Cards were dead, players with 9 4o hit boats on my straight... just disturbing stuff.

So all night, I just wondered... How do you beat people at these levels? My AK and AQ always lost to the two pair, AA loses a 16BB pot when a J hits a board of 3 7 8 and after being re-raised, he has got the straight. I can let them go, but why can't the great cards ever hold up?

That's enough venting so down $50 I go and get eggo, sausage, syrup and make a monster breakfast. MBJ NL is tonight... wish me luck!

2006-05-31T11:38:00.000-04:00

I hate fishing....

And I hate the waiting part too....

They call it fishing, not waiting, but that's what you do. I don't have the patience to deal with sitting in a boat and waiting for the nibbles and bites. Hell I hate the ocean, beach, sand and salt. Almost the same at the tables. This weekend the fish were biting, biting fast and hard, and STEALING all the bait. Pokergnome said that he hates fish when he should love them. I flat hate them, I'd rather play good players that don't sit around for gut-shots and just get rid of the hand on the flop instead of bluff-reraise-calling down tot he river and then hitting. THEY always hit against me.
Man I wanna punch people. "Thanks for the donation." WTF?!? You get lucky as opposed to wanting to give away your bankroll and you say shit like that to me? This is the person I'd actually punch in the back of the head. Implied Tilt Odds. I bet he never even heard of the tiltboys. GRRRrrrr.

So after dropping $300 of my BR (1/4) between the Fish and the SnGs (previous post), I took off the majority of my funds and am going to live play. I am keeping enough at FullTiltPoker to get me through the Message Board Junkies HORSE season, and see what happens from there.

Peace.

2006-05-29T03:34:00.000-04:00

WHOA!!!!

SNG Limit game.... Guy hits AA twice and KK 5 times in under 50 hands. Issues with the RNG? First time I ever wondered with some serious thought about this.

And I thought my cards were cold at the casino lsat night. 7 hands in 2 hours, won three hands total, one on a semi bluff, the other two no callers. 2 hours of work, left up $10 whippity-do!

2006-05-27T18:06:00.000-04:00

Just a Standard Intro

I am not a writer.
I am a recreational poker player.
I work in the adult entertainment industry.
I like reading blogs about poker and the other stuff that follows.

So with a simple reason for creating this blog it has multiple purposes.

To make it easier to follow the blogs "I" enjoy reading.
To explain how much money I can waste at poker and the casinos
To find others that enjoy playing poker and the stories (that better be interesting) they tell
Bitch about life

On that note, I am gonna get back to work and start linking the blogs I like to read, and who knows, make a few drinking/poker/gas $$$ at work.

Peace.